I am thinking back to when my two granddaughters were growing in my daughter-in-laws womb, two and half years ago. I did not have the physical, embodied relationship with them that I had with my two children. But when they came into this realm, I was immediately different too- a grandmother. Our relationship is immutable, unchangeable- although I had chosen to be called Granmo, their easiest first word for me was Mimi and I love being acknowledged by a name that was given to me by the two most precious people in my life now.
I know that they were seeds growing in the dark, protective womb of their mother which held all that they needed -somehow their spark of life happened, through love, I believe. But there is the biology of it too, that manifests this mysterious life force. And this biology can be affected by outside forces, not by the conscious will of their mother, nor by any truly rational choices of our culture but actually influenced by our place and time and environment.
I believe this changeable biology creates a responsibility on me, because I would never want an action that I do to harm my grandchildren. But I know I have done harmful things and continue to do them. I realize that how I live on this earth is what my granddaughters will inherit. I understand that my relationship with my all-encompassing Mother Earth somehow is immutable too, just like my relationship with my granddaughters. And I feel that my Mother Earth, who holds and nurtures and feeds me, is beneficent. She would not want to harm either, yet she accepts what is happening to her, with involuntary surrender.
So, I have some real opinions about what is safe in this toxic world for my granddaughters, but I am conscious of the delicate dance with my daughter-in-law of being helpful, not pushy, supportive but not being a know-it-all; at the same time understanding that I have a unique relationship with these new creatures, that confers a particular joy and responsibility that only I have. I could give details about the flame retardants in the nursing pillows, the lead in the bedroom paint and tap water, the hormone disruptors in the plastic toys and diaper rash lotion, the toxic gmo’s in the processed food, the EMF’s from the video monitor, the …. Whew… it is really hard to not be in charge and control. I know the most important thing is to keep in relationship with my daughter-in-law, so I can be close to my granddaughters, so I am very judicious about what I say, when. But it can be an ache in my heart that I relieve by working to change this world to be safer, cleaner and healthier. My work with EcoBirth-Women for Earth and Birth is a part of my mission to do that. Come join me and our wonderful group of mothers to create a better world for our children and grandchildren: they will want to know what we have done, since we knew how important it was to prevent the harm that they are inheriting. I want to be a Beloved Ancestor for them- I know you would too! We can make our world better together- mothers are a dynamic force whose fierce protectiveness can be so effective and powerful- be a part of our work now, creating a loving and caring legacy!